“You would look so much better if you just lost a little weight.”
“How do you manage to go to work and leave your kids for so many hours with the nanny?  I could never do that”
“Why are you still single? Time is ticking! No one is perfect so you shouldn’t be picky.”

If you are a woman over the age of 20, most likely you’ve heard some version of these comments. And, they’re not so easy to ignore especially when you hear them so often.

January 9, 2018

Why Do People’s Words Affect Us So Much?"

Do you ever feel like your partner doesn't love you the way you need them to? Perhaps, you’re speaking different love languages! Let me help you understand the different love languages that exist so you can better communicate with your partner to get each other’s needs met.

Love languages are the different ways that people express and receive love. There are five different love languages, and understanding them can prevent misunderstandings and heartache in your relationship.

Not understanding your love language or the love language of those you care about can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and relationship problems. By recognizing that expressing and receiving love can differ, we can become more attuned to the needs of others and better equipped to show them love in ways they will truly appreciate and understand. This can help build stronger, more fulfilling relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic.

Words of Affirmation:
If this is your love language, you feel loved when someone expresses their love for you through words, both written and spoken. Compliments and appreciation are essential for you to feel seen and heard. Hearing things like "I love you," or "you're amazing," can make you feel seen and valued. However, if this isn't your partner's love language, they might not understand why it's important to you. It's crucial to communicate and understand each other's love languages.

Acts of Service:
For those whose love language is acts of service, actions speak louder than words. Doing things for your partner without them asking, such as filling up the gas tank or giving them a massage after a long day, is how you show your love. However, it's important to remember that this might not be your partner's love language, so expressing love through acts of service might not have the same impact on them.

Quality Time:
This love language is all about spending quality time together, without any distractions, giving each other undivided attention. Communicating, making eye contact, and feeling heard and seen are all essential for those who speak this language. Being present! However, simply being physically present while distracted by devices doesn't count as quality time. If this is your love language, it's important to communicate what kind of quality time you desire and set ground rules to ensure that you get it.

Physical Touch:
People who speak this love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, such as holding hands or cuddling on the couch. Touch is a powerful emotional connector for someone with this love language and has many scientific benefits, such as reducing stress and improving mental health. Being intimate is key to this love language. However, it's important to communicate with your partner about what kind of physical touch you're comfortable with and find a common ground.

Gifts:
If receiving a gift brightens up your day, then this is your love language. It's not about the materialistic value of the gift, but rather the effort, thought, and care put into it. Knowing your tastes and desires is how your partner can show you they care. If this is your love language, communicate with your partner that even small gifts, such as a cup of coffee or something hand-made, can make you feel loved. Remember, it’s the thought that counts!

Now that you understand the different love languages that exist, it's time to learn how to communicate your needs to your partner. Start by having an open and clear conversation about love languages.

Take the test together to see how the other person responds, and express your love for them first, the way they need to receive it.

Remember, it's important to give love to yourself too! Fill your own heart with love in the way you need it so that you don't have to depend on others. This is the most important and is often overlooked.

Understanding love languages can truly save you from misunderstandings and heartache in your relationship. If you're struggling with self-love, reach out to a relationship and mindset coach for guidance.

If you need help or are struggling with self-love, don't hesitate to reach out to a relationship and mindset coach like myself for guidance!

April 16,2023

Understanding Your Love Languages: How to Communicate Your Needs to Your Partner